The Good & the Ugly

The good

Finally, I got to ring the bell, I completed my Chemotherapy. 4 Red and 12 White cycles of Chemotherapy done and dusted!! What an amazing achievement without ever having delayed a treatment. I felt like I had won a gold medal at the Olympics. At times I thought this would never end, it seemed to go on and on. I was going to do this one more time, on completion of radiotherapy which still lay ahead.

One of the things I tried to do during the white cycle of Chemo was to exercise a little. When I say exercise, I am not referring to how I used to train prior to my cancer diagnosis but I had to find a new way of exercising. It was new for me as my body had changed so much but I had to find a way to think positively and encourage myself to get back to looking after my body again. It had taken a real hiding, chemicals had been administered, trying to “kill” the bad cells and with it the good cells.

Prior to this I had run marathons, half marathons, swam, played padel, tennis, golf and so on. This was going to be a whole new way of thinking and applying new ways of taking care of my body. Getting to know what my new limits were, what I can and can’t do.

I started off by jogging and walking, something I hadn’t done in a very, very long time. It was amazing how my perception had changed. Whilst walking I noticed things I had taken for granted all my life, how lovely the sunshine felt on my face, how beautiful nature was, how good it was to breath in fresh air and to listen to the birds chirping in the trees.

What I had taken for granted in the past had become so important. Once I stared death in the face, I realised how important the “little” things in life are and how much joy they can bring. Trees I had walked past hundreds of times before and had never noticed were simply beautiful and brought so much joy to me.

I introduced some Padel into my physical recovery as well as Zumba dancing and Yoga.

Zumba wasn’t only exercising the body but also training the brain. Chemo brain had affected my short-term memory, so this was a perfect way of completing two tasks. The exercise helped in getting rid of the chemicals in my body, the steps to each song helped in training the short-term memory. A huge thank you to Sheralee from Virgin Active gym for making these classes so much fun.

I was introduced to slow Yoga by my friend Wendy who is a yoga guru. She explained that the slow yoga wasn’t too strenuous and would assist hugely in reducing the anxiety I had from facing death. I absolutely loved the two coaches who offered the slow yoga at Virgin Active gym in La Lucia. Another huge thank you to Carol and Barthi for assisting me in getting better one step at a time.

Prior to chemo and cancer, I loved playing padel and I really missed it. We have a lovely group of ladies who play padel in the Durban North area. Of course, I was and am now where near how I used to play but this lovely group of ladies were not phased by my ability to play but were so kind to play with me just because I so missed it. Sorry for all the losses I caused on the court ladies 😊 We had a wonderful get together at my home with the padel ladies, I am so blessed to have so many caring and kind peeps’ surrounding me. A huge thank you to you all!

Another wonderful thing I added to my non-negotiables and must complete list was our visits to Glen Ashley beach. It is so calming to enjoy the view of the ocean even just for an hour. It helped me with anxiety and reminded me to enjoy the moment I live in, here and now, looking at the beautiful ocean, hearing the waves crash. It gave me the power to continue my fight and remain positive. Thank you Kevin for the many hours you sat next to me on the beach.

One evening Kevin, Erin and I decided to go to Fabrica Restaurant in Sunningdale for supper; one of our favourite restaurants. Erin happened to take a photo and posted it on social media of us having supper at this restaurant. It was one of our first outings as having a compromised immune system during chemo could postpone treatment if I were to catch a bug and I wasn’t going to have a day longer of this then was absolutely necessary. Next thing, the waiter brings me the biggest bunch of beautiful flowers which I found out later were sent to me by my dear friend Ria. What a lovely surprise, so very thoughtful and kind. When we asked for the bill, we were told by the waiter that it had been settled but wouldn’t reveal by whom. To date I don’t know who paid for our supper and I hope whoever did will read this message of thank and gratitude.

Every single chemotherapy over 20 weeks Kevin would not leave my side. He drove me to the cancer centre, sat next to me during the administration of chemotherapy which takes some hours, held my hand during every needle stabbing me, every injection and tests needed to be done. I am forever grateful to him as this is as he says, a marathon, not a sprint. What a rock in my life!

The ugly

I am very lucky to have amazing friends but have also come across the inhumane. It was suggested by some that I had completed my chemo and should be able to go back to my “previous” life and continue with tasks and responsibilities as before cancer.

Having completed chemotherapy did NOT mean I was healed, there still is a long path ahead. Don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise and continue being nice to yourself. What did surprise me even more so, is when I got wind of some discussing my situation and disease and questioning it. The question was, is Christina faking having cancer. Well, that was somewhat mind blowing.

I had and have no time for negativity so enough of that.

Surgery, Radiotherapy and Recovery lies ahead …